Blog is going to be discontinued...

Last chance to subscribe to my new location...

http://curioushawkstudio.blogspot.com/

I am going to be shutting down this site in the next week or two.

Thanks!

Mary Anne

New Location

For those who may have missed me on Facebook, this blog has moved to a new location. You can find new posts at-

http://curioushawkstudio.blogspot.com/

I have decided to merge my two blogs together to make life alot easier. Instead of having two separate blogs on different topics I am merging them into one. Please make sure you subscribe to the new blog as I am going to delete this one in the near future. Thanks!

Mary Anne

Advenutre Year Takes a New Turn...

It's been a long time since I have written. A long, LONG time. For those of you who may be wondering, I did not drop off the face of the earth. I am still right here in the city, doing my thing. I haven't been focusing very much on my blog, because I have had a lot of other stuff going on, as I have mentioned in previous posts.

For awhile I felt like I was failing my adventure year. I felt like if I didn't post insert number of times a month here, then I wasn't doing what I set out to do. The thing is, I am still focusing on the theme for the month, I just haven't had as much time to write about it. Last month was very much an adventure, with letterboxing, a trip to Hocking Hills, and buying dancing lessons that will hopefully start soon. My relationship with Mike is still very new, and every day with him is also an adventure as we grow together and get to know one another. I have also started a huge, time consuming project, which has been eating up most of my free time. All these things have kept me very busy and I haven't had time to blog, and for that I felt profoundly guilty

However, I have been doing a lot of thinking the last few days, and I have decided to drop the guilt and stop putting all these unrealistic expectations on myself. If I am being really honest, I don't really think I am failing my adventure year, I think the adventure year itself has changed some. When I first started this project, I really needed something to keep me and focused and fill my time while I was reeling from the pain of separating from my husband. My adventure year gave me something to do, something to look forward to, while I tried to rebuild my life.

Eight months later I am in a much healthier place and I don't really need it as much as I did before. I am filling in the holes that my divorce left with things that make me happy, new friends, new relationships, new goals. So I am not going to apologize for not writing as much as I used to. I have decided if it's not fulfilling for me to write four times a month then I am simply not going to do it. I am sure you all understand. It doesn't mean I am going to dump the whole project, there are still important things I need to focus on in the months to come, but I am probably going to do it more for myself and not have as large of an online presence as I did before.

I guess what it really comes down to is I am trying to lessen unnecessary stress by doing what makes me happy. Right now, focusing on my other projects and spending time with my friends and family makes me happy, and to me, finding your passion and what makes you feel joyful- that is what life is all about.

"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." 

-Howard Thurman 

 

"X" Marks the Spot...

I'm finally back from my several weeks of going rogue. The ending of March was simultaneously lovely and full of sorrow. Mike and I seem to have fallen into a comfortable routine of visiting each other throughout the week, and I seem to have assimilated myself pretty well into his family by bribing his father and brother with home cooking.

However, despite the joy these events have brought to my life, the last week of March also harkened the close of yet another chapter in my story. Several days before Easter, the final step in the dissolution - the hearing with the judge - was held and my marriage was officially ended by the authority of Ohio State's judicial system. I was rather shocked because, once all the parties were assembled at the lawyer's office, it literally took all of five minutes to end an almost four year partnership. It happened so fast I didn't have a chance to feel sad; didn't really have a chance to feel anything. It wasn't until much later that evening, while I laid awake in bed reviewing the events of the day, that it hit me - I was free. Truly and completely free. As many of you are well aware, however, freedom has its price and the cost of my independence was the loss of my best friend of more than eight years. Despite our differences I still love him, and it kills me to know that I have played a part in his pain. With my whole heart and soul I wish him nothing but all the love and happiness the world has to offer.

Compounding my sadness further, a former family member then passed away not even a week later, and I felt helpless to provide any comfort to those whom I had previously held dear. He was a good man and I will miss him and remember him fondly.

Through all of this I have tried to remind myself to just keep putting one foot in front of the other, for if I have learned anything over the last eight months it's that there is no going back. The only way to move on is to move forward. So I have picked up my adventure year banner once again and I am pushing forward into Adventure April!

My birthday is this month, this week actually, and I wanted to have some fun in honor of my twenty-sixth year. Last Sunday the weather was absolutely beautiful, and Mike and I went on my very first adventure for the month - a bona fide treasure hunt!

I don't think it would be much of a stretch to assume that many of you dear readers have enjoyed the ever entertaining "pirate looking for buried treasure" fantasy at some point during your youth. Or maybe you still dream about it, who knows? Not going to lie, being a pirate would be pretty bad ass... What I am guessing you DON'T know, however, is not only, through the magic of the Internet, can you find clues to hidden treasure, but the cost of doing so is completely free! Yup, you heard me right. It's a wonderful little activity called "letterboxing" (see the end of this post for more detailed information). I had read about it a couple of years ago in the newspaper and had always wanted to go, but never had anyone to go with. The basic premise of letterboxing is that you can download various "clues" and then follow said clues until you find the hidden container at the end of the trail, which usually contains a hand-carved stamp and a logbook. Once found, you can ink your own personal stamp into the box's logbook and note your name and the date on which you found it. Then you stamp the letterbox symbol into your own journal as a souvenir, re-hide the box in the same location and, voilà! Someone else can later find the same "treasure" and see that you left your mark.

There are hundreds of letterboxes all over Columbus and the surrounding cities, but there were at least twenty or more hidden out at Greenlawn Cemetery alone, so that is where Mike and I decided to pop our letterboxing cherries. Despite initially  having trouble following the clues, it was incredibly exciting to find our first box. I felt like a kid in a candy store when we opened it up to see what was inside. We went on to find at least a dozen more over the course of four hours, and we didn't even get to all the ones on the list! We came home hungry, sunburned, exhausted, and pleased as punch that our first letterboxing outing lead to such bountiful results. We are both hooked and are already planning our next adventure for later this week when we are in Hocking Hills. We will also take Mike's four year old little boy with us at some point because I am sure he will get a kick out of looking for buried treasure. What kid wouldn't?

I am trying to keep that same childlike sense of wonder and adventure alive this month and not dwell too much on adult worries that are out of my control. It doesn't do me any good to stress myself out with needless anxiety at the moment. So, in the interest of journeying forward, and in the spirit of this piratey post, I am going to try really hard to remember the following (which I am shamelessly stealing from a Rachel Platten song) -

"Keep your eyes set on the horizon on the line where blue meets blue..."

My awesome hand-carved stamp!

The inside of an actual letterbox.

The horrendous picture Mike took of me because he told me to, "Smile with your whole face!" Thanks :-P

Mike poking around in the bush...

For more information on Letterboxing check out the following websites...

http://www.atlasquest.com/

http://www.letterboxing.org/

Missing In Action

I feel I owe you an apology dear readers, I have been woefully neglectful of my blog the last few weeks. "Mindfulness March" would be more aptly named "Mike March" at this point, as he has consumed most of my time and thoughts. (If you don't know who Mike is, see my previous post here...)

I am sure, however, that you can commiserate with me. We have all been there before- you know the scenario. Guy messages girl, girl meets guy, both are completely and disgustingly engrossed with each other, and a lovely-dovey barf fest ensues.

Drunk on dopamine and norepinephrine, the heady cocktail of pleasure chemicals produced in the brain during the beginning stages of a new relationship, I literally feel like a junkie and Mike is my dealer. One hit just isn't enough. Side effects of infatuation overdose include butterflies in your stomach whenever you see your paramour, the constant wondering how they are and what they are doing when you are apart, and your heart skipping a beat when you receive a call or text from that special someone... Oh boy, I am a sick, sick little girl my friends...

(Clears throat...) Hello everyone, my name's Mary Anne, and I am a loveaholic...

All joking aside, as a result of this budding attraction, I have seriously been shirking my adventure year duties. I don't think I have yet accomplished a single thing I set out to do this month and March is already half way over. I haven't read any of my books, I haven't been meditating, I haven't visited the Buddhist Temple, I haven't been keeping up with my blog (because I have nothing to blog about), and even my journaling has been sporadic at best.

I was feeling pretty guilty about all of this until a few days ago when I happened to be re-watching one of my favorite movies- Eat, Pray, Love. (Which also happens to be one of the inspirations for my adventure year.) A line from one of the scenes hit me like a slap in the face. In the story Liz (Julia Roberts), who is reeling from a nasty divorce, travels all over the world trying to find herself. She journeys to Italy, India, and ends up in Bali where she meets a man and falls in love. Towards the end of the movie he asks her to go away with him for a week right before she is getting ready to leave to go back to the United States. She balks at the offer siting "losing her balance" (emotionally and spiritually) as the reason why she won't go with him. Later, while talking about it to her medicine man friend Ketut, he says-

"To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced life."

Holy shit! Even though I have heard that line a hundred times, when he uttered those words I felt like he was actually speaking directly to me, and in that moment I no longer felt guilty because I realized he is right. To be completely irresponsible for love is sometimes exactly what we need, or at least is exactly what I need at this particular time.

I have been so uptight for so long it was starting to wear me down. So many people depend on me and expect me to be the "rational and mature" one. I can't remember the last time I have had fun on a consistent basis, let alone the last time I was truly, blissfully, happy. Maybe it's selfish, but damn it, I have been through a lot the last seven months, and I think I deserve to cut loose a little and toss responsibility to the wayside for a while. I am tired of working myself to death, and I am tired of looking at myself in the mirror in the morning and seeing dark circles under my eyes because I am physically and emotionally exhausted. I didn't make huge changes in my life just to sign up for new stressors.

So guess what? I am going rogue. That's right, I am going off the grid for a little while, and will be back at the end of the month just in time for April. Mindfulness can suck it. Suck it long, and suck it hard! From the onset of this project I knew I was going to be terrible at it anyway, and to be perfectly honest, maybe this is the Universe's way of saving me from myself. I just about guarantee that trying to be "mindful" with everything going on at this point in my journey, boyfriend or no boyfriend, I probably would have ended up wanting to cut somebody before the end of the first week. I will be the first to admit that I am a hopeless perfectionist, and not being "good" at something drives me bat shit crazy. It would have just been too stressful. I plan to circle back and address it at some point later on, but now is not the time for it. Instead I am going to be flexible and just roll with the cards that have been dealt to me. (And for once it's a pretty damn good hand! If this were euchre it would totally be a loner...) Therefore, I am re-christening this month "joyfulness" because, so far, that seems to have been the underlying theme. I am perfectly fine with continuing to act like a giddy teenager and find delight in spending time with my man, rather than trying to beat and wrestle my monkey mind into submission from the half lotus position.

Don't worry, this is only a brief hiatus. I will be back in a couple of weeks. Maybe by then I will have managed to come down a little from my romantic high. If not, well... Anyone know a good twelve step program for smitten kittens? :)

Game, Set, Match...

"The problem is, as the Buddhists have long identified, is that when our monkey mind jumps from tree limb to tree limb, it brings the rest of the monkey along for the ride."

-Jana Riess Flunking Sainthood

I'm only on day three (as of writing this) of mindfulness March, and I am already failing miserably. Granted, it's not all entirely my fault, I've had a lot of help. You see, I met someone. Someone who I think is pretty damn special... but I am getting ahead of myself.

In the aftermath of "Dateapaloosa" last weekend, I was reeling in disappointment. The rejection from the Traveler left me feeling frustrated and discouraged. I had another date lined up with the Scientist, but while he was nice and fun to talk to, there wasn't really a spark, or the passion needed to make a relationship work. I agreed to go out with him again, but if I am being really honest with myself, my heart wasn't in it.

Monday night, while attempting to process everything that happened in my journal, I had a long conversation about the whole thing and the following is a condensed version... (If you don't understand my journaling process, see my blog post about it here...)

Monday, February 25, 2013

[Talking about my dates...]

The Scientist asked me out again, and the slightly awkward Dog Lover sent me an email about his french press, but no date request, which I thought was weird. [The Dog Lover had not yet made his exit at this point.] Whatever, what is meant to be will be. Maybe I will see how these last two end and then disable my [OkCupid] profile- who knows? It's a learning experience.

That's a good way of looking at it child. What have you learned?

Well, I have a few more things to add to my list. Like "confidence" and "must love meat." Haha... Maybe I need to keep focusing on me for right now. I didn't want to hear it at the time, but if people are going to freak out about it, maybe it would be better to try and date after the divorce is official.

That's entirely up to you Dearheart.

On the one hand, dating gives me an idea of what I do and don't want. On the other hand it's been sort of stressful and you have to weed out a lot of idiots. I will just wait and see what happens I suppose. Get a jump start on March with learning to let go...

That is a big skill you need to master child, probably one of the most important before you are ready for another relationship. You have to be able to trust someone else enough to let go of the reigns once and awhile.

I know you are right, I just wish there was an easier way.

If you believe it will be hard, it will be...

Ugh. I know, I know!

You may "know" but you have yet to apply it...

... While we are talking about it, let's revamp "the list"...

[As an aside here, the original "list" came about in August when things started falling apart with my marriage. My husband and I, at the time, both came up with lists of things we wanted in a potential partner and then compared the two. The many differences, I believe, were the fatal blow that made us realize we simply weren't compatible anymore. The updated list as of Monday is as follows...]

Must Haves

1. Kind/Compassionate/Loving
2. Empathetic
3. Supportive
4. Emotionally open
5. Spiritual
6. Open-minded
7. Considerate
8. Intellectually stimulating
9. Accepting
10. Encouraging
11. Brings out the best in me
12. Creative
13. Honest
14. Fun/Playful/Joyful
15. Passionate
16. Values the importance of family
17. Romantic/Sexy
18. Authentic
19. Good listener
20. Gentle/Patient
21. Appreciative/Thankful
22. Loyal/Faithful
23. Good sense of humor
24. Takes care of themselves mind, body, and soul and is accepting of how I take care of myself (aka. my diet...)
25. Confident
26. Hospitable/Generous
27. Educated (though doesn't have to be formally, there are smart people out there who didn't go to college...)
28. Positive outlook
29. Good with kids/animals

Would Like to Have

1. Athletic/Enjoys physical activity
2. Good friend
3. Chivalrous
4. Driven/Motivated
5. Organized
6. Adventurous
7. Peaceful, doesn't need to have constant stimulation
8. Stable/Safe
9. Similar interests
10. Is okay that I can be pensive sometimes
11. Self-sufficient
12. Stands up for himself
13. Enthusiastic
14. Mature
15. Unique/Quirky, not afraid to be himself
16. Practical/Logical when the situation calls for it
17. Strong/Protective, can take care of me sometimes

(Forty-six things in all...)

Do you really think this guy is out there somewhere, with not just these things, but more?

Dearheart, your perfect mate is here somewhere, whether you realize it or not, and when the time is right he will make an appearance and waltz right in like he owns the place. When it happens you will know. You both have to be ready. Can you honestly say you are ready right now? If he would show up tomorrow [SPOILER ALERT!!!] would your "house be clean" so to speak? Would you be where you want to be mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually?

No :(

Long story short, the rest of the conversation had to do with me admitting that there is always room for improvement, and it would be in my best interest to stop worrying to much about dating and give it over to the Universe to deal with. So that's what I did. I said "Okay, I am going to stop trying to manhandle life, here it is, do with it what you will..." and left it to fate.

Fate, it seems, is an impish little bastard.

I don't know if it was the simple act of finally letting go, but the Universe was conspiring at that very moment to send me someone very special.

Cue the Writer.

Literally the next day, on Tuesday morning, I awoke to an email in my OkCupid inbox from a man which stated-

"Wow, you are super cute :)

I think you may be missing a word in the initial clause of your first sentence [of my profile] - the one that speaks of your intelligence, ironically enough. Funny how typos tend to strike at the most inopportune times :P

Don't take that as an insult. There was no other way to mention it, and as a professional editor, I felt an overwhelming compulsion to do so. You are clearly intelligent. Of that, I have no doubt."

All right smart ass, you have my attention. We were also very highly matched percentage wise based on our profiles so I decided to see what would happen... So I wrote him back.

Over the course of the next two days we exchanged over 20 emails. When I told him about my spiritual beliefs his response was, "OoOoo.... scary. o____0" Several emails after that I told him I was in the process of getting divorced and he replied, "It doesn't change a thing to me..." Who the hell did this guy think he was? Here I am laying out all my cards on the table, practically trying to scare him off and here he is sticking around like a barnacle on a whale's behind. This kind of stuff just doesn't happen in real life.

We agreed to meet for the first time Saturday evening for yet another coffee date. (What can I say? I like Cup of Joe...) Let me tell you, it's a good thing I don't have a preexisting heart condition, because all day long it would skip a beat whenever I thought about the fact that I was finally going to get to meet this amazing man in person later that evening, and believe me I had that thought frequently. Quite frankly, I think it's a small miracle I am still breathing.

I ended up getting there early because I wanted some time to write in my journal and calm my nerves. I was operating under the idea that "If it is too good to be true, it probably is..." I was just waiting to find out he had a third nipple or something crazy. He just couldn't be THAT perfect. I'd like to say the writing helped, but looking back I think it was more entertaining than soothing...

Saturday March 2, 2013

... As I was saying to him last night, it's almost like he's always been there, even though we didn't start talking until Tuesday. I want to make plans with this guy, I don't want to date anyone else. I feel ridiculous saying this because I haven't even met him yet.

You wanted a love story :)

Man I guess so. I dunno, but what I do know is this month is mindfulness and I have already sucked at it because I am constantly thinking about him, but when he gets here I will be present every second. This guy makes my heart want to sing, and even though it's incredibly scary, I am going to enjoy it. I am just going to focus on coffee and hope my heart doesn't explode with excitement and anticipation.

I am glad you are happy child. This makes me happy.

Yes, ridiculously happy, holy shit it's unreal. It feels like a dream. I keep thinking if I pinch myself I am going to wake up. Nope, just pinched myself, it hurt... I am definitely awake... You know I was thinking this morning how I kept asking for the perfect man, a soul mate, and you kept saying "have patience," "have patience..." The irony of meeting such a special man on the second day of "mindfulness and patience" month is not lost on me.

You liked that one? :) I thought you might...

You may be God, but you can be a real turd sometimes.

Heehee. What people don't understand is I have a sense of humor...

Shit, he should be here any minute, it's 6:45 and we are supposed to meet by 7. Oh my god, I think he's here, I am pretty sure my heart is going to beat out of my chest... shit, shit, shit...

And there he was. As beautiful in real life as he was via our conversations over the internet. He reminded me a lot of a dark haired, freckle-less version of Eddie Redmayne, (oh yeah ladies, you know who I am talking about!) and that was perfectly fine with me.

We went and got our coffee and sat down to talk. By this point, I am running on less that four hours of sleep, (because I was up late the night before talking to him), nervous, and already one coffee deep so I was feeling jazzed up like a squirrel on speed trying really hard not to completely lose it and make an ass out of myself.

At one point, he took my hands in his. I made the comment that "That was nice." Surprised, he asked "Didn't any of your other dates try to touch you?" (He had read my blog post and I told him about my other previous dates...) "No, those dates ended with a hug, but that's it." He looked at me and very nonchalantly remarked, "What fools," as he continued to hold my hand.

Ohhh, this guy is good... REALLY good... I think the Writer could charm the pants off a shrew. Even more dangerous was the fact that I knew he was being completely sincere. 

After we finished our coffee, we ended up going back to my apartment to watch a movie. When he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me in to whisper a question about the film in my ear, a question which I no longer remember because my brain wasn't functioning at the time, I knew I was a goner. Game, set, match, my friends, this guy  is a keeper.

To say our first date was a smashing success would be a gross understatement. I am not even sure there are words to describe how incredibly joyful the Writer makes me feel. I didn't even know this level of happiness even existed. Could he be the perfect man I have been looking for? I don't know for sure, but I have an inkling deep down in my soul that our meeting was no accident and this could be the start of something magical.

What I do know is, after he left that night, the first thing we both did was disable our online dating profiles. Neither of us have any desire to see anyone else right now, and I personally hope I never have to reactivate mine.

I don't know what it is about him, but he just seems to resonate with me on a level I have never felt before with anyone else. I have no idea where this journey will take me, but as long as he is there I am content. 

(And if you are reading this sir, which I know you inevitably will, I hope you feel the same way :)

[Update]

So the first person I showed the rough draft of this post to was Mike. (Aka the Writer. I don't think I have to use a non de plume for him anymore, I guarantee you are going to be hearing about him a lot more...) His response was, "Beautiful. When I write you, I want you to include in somewhere in your blog... maybe just in part. Enough so that your readers understand the feeling is reciprocated :)" So here is what he wrote me... he says he's "not a poet," psshhh... I will let you decide dear readers...

It is finally time to leave this corpse,

to bid farewell to the shell of my seed

and climb through the husks

below which I've been buried -

the blue tomb of a heart left frozen

for the guttering of weaker flames.

And I will look back for perspective,

if only to understand

how little I knew of four-letter-words

spoken softly to ears that would not hear.

I've a new moon now

to pull the tides of my passion;

a new constellation to steal

the breath from my lungs and

leave me defenseless, stricken mute

by the beauty that traces

sacred circles through the night

and sacred promises

across my heart.

Now I give myself to this new sky,

my heart placed atop one final altar,

as I pass my spirit into her keeping.

For this time I am certain

beyond the gnawing of any doubt

that the one I kneel before

is to be my queen.

Melt... See, I told you this guy was good! Sorry ladies, he's not available, I am going to keep him :)

50 First Dates...

Stacy- So you must be Lucy's friend. The one who made the tape.

Lucy- I think he's more than my friend. You're my boyfriend, right?

Henry- Yes ma'am.

Stacy- So everyday you help her realize what happened and wait patiently for her to be okay with it, then you get her to fall in love with you again?

Henry- Yes ma'am.

Stacy- Gosh... (a longing sigh, then slaps her husband in the chest) You asshole! You don't even open the fricking car door for me anymore!


Ah, first dates... They are fascinating creatures. It's your first impression of someone, so both people are on their very best behavior hoping to impress this stranger who could potentially be A) your next sexual partner, B) your soul mate or C) a complete psychopath who you will wish you had never met, but unfortunately, didn't figure that out until date number three or four.

Unlike Henry (Adam Sandler) in 50 First Dates, who has to convince his beloved with short term memory loss (Drew Barrymore), to go out with him all over again every day, most people are lucky enough that they only have to go through a first date with a particular person one time. This is a good thing, as first dates can be nerve-wracking. With that being said, then you have the completely insane like me who schedule three first dates, with three different guys, all within a 30 hour time frame.

Go big or go home, my friends. Go big or go home.

To be perfectly honest, I didn't plan for it to happen this way, it just sorta did. I am discovering that I am apparently a hot commodity on OkCupid. I even got an email from the website yesterday saying, "Congrats! Based on the number of clicks on your profile and user ratings, you are one of the most attractive people on this site! Don't let it go to your head..." (I proceeded to laugh hysterically and delete it.)

I have contacted, and been contacted, by several guys over the last few weeks and it all just culminated into them asking me out all at the same time, for the same weekend. I considered trying to spread it out over the course of the following week, but due to my lack of dating experience I figured I would lose my nerve, (and almost did to be frank), and should just bite the bullet and get it over with. As a result, my weekend could have been aptly named "Dateapaloosa!" I ended up with one date on Saturday and two on Sunday...

Date Number One- The Dog Lover
I was most anxious about this one, mostly because it was really my first official date in almost a decade (no pressure or anything). We met at a coffee shop to chat for a few hours. It was a little awkward at first, because I get the impression he's pretty shy, and we were both nervous, but conversation soon relaxed once we began talking about our jobs and our dogs. He's was very sweet in a quiet sort of way, which I am not used to shy guys so it took some adjusting to. He actually gave me a really wonderful compliment by calling me a "renaissance woman." (Meaning I am good at many things, and have a variety of interests. A nicer way of saying "jack of all trades" I suppose.) Never really thought of myself that way, but the title is rather appropriate the more I think about it.

Date Number Two- The Scientist
Date number two was another coffee date, though this one was at one of my favorite local places that I frequent. I think between the familiar locale and already having one date under my belt significantly helped my confidence. Didn't really need it though, the Scientist was anything but shy. In fact, sometimes it was hard getting a word in edge wise! That really didn't bother me much though, it gave me a chance to practice active listening skills and let someone else be the center of attention for once, which is something I need to work on more in personal relationships. Morning coffee turned into lunch and we talked about his research on cancer treatments and my work with holistic medicine, family, sports, pets, you name it. He was bubbly and enthusiastic and I really enjoyed chatting with him over yummy food.

Date Number Three- The Traveler
Save the best for last, this date was the one I was most looking forward to because I had contacted him first, and after talking via email we just had so much in common. We decided to meet at the art museum, which was exciting to me because I love art. I was freaking out a little before our appointed time to meet because I was super early and because I wanted to make a good first impression. I wandered around the gift shop for awhile and then hung up my coat. When I came back, there he was waiting in the lobby and all my nervousness disappeared. Conversation as we walked around looking at the art was friendly and comfortable, an easy give and take that felt very natural. At one point we were stopped by a group of older women remarking on how "nice we looked together," because our outfits matched "perfectly," and "did we plan it that way?" All the while we are laughing because this was literally the first time we had ever met in person. After the museum we went and got coffee and talked for another hour or more. I left for the night with a huge grin on my face, I had had a great time.

Looking back, I am glad I made it through my dating marathon in one piece, I had been really worried about it all the previous week. I consulted many of my dating savvy friends and got a lot of mixed advice such as, "one night stands are okay," and "don't tell them you are getting divorced on the first date." After stressing about it for a few days, I ultimately decided to throw "conventional" wisdom out the window and do things MY way, which meant really listening to my heart to decide what was right for me in any given moment.

And you know what? That worked for me. Each date ended with a hug and nothing more and I was totally fine with that. I don't believe that you have to hop into bed with someone, or even swap spit on a first date. If that's your thing, and you have a willing partner, great- more power to you. It's just not for me. Don't get me wrong, if I really like someone I would be willing to push boundaries after a couple of dates, but I am in no hurry. If my date can't understand and accept this then they are not the man for me.

Update: At the time I started writing this post I hadn't heard back from any of the dates yet, but have since been contacted by all three. The Dog Lover declined going out again because I was honest and said I wasn't looking for a serious relationship right now. He apparently was, and I totally respect that. Best of luck to him, he is a genuinely nice guy. The Scientist asked me out again and I think we are going to do something this weekend. The Traveler bowed out gracefully under the excuse that I wasn't "technically" divorced yet and he was uncomfortable with that. Disappointing? Yes. Surprising? Maybe a little, but to be perfectly honest I am not sure it would have worked anyway. He just celebrated ten years of being a vegetarian and with my diet there is absolutely no way I can cut out meat and stay healthy. (Besides why would I want to? Meat is delicious! I may or may not have cooked a half pack of bacon and a full package of chicken tenderloins in silent protest after receiving his email. Not that I was bitter or anything...) Does it suck? Of course, but I would rather be open and honest about who I am rather than lie to make someone like me. Loving someone means loving the whole person, not just the parts that are cute or convenient.

While a little extreme, in 50 First Dates, Henry loved Lucy despite the fact that he knew she would forget about him every night and wake up the next morning completely oblivious to their relationship. He really loved her at her core, for who she was as a human being.

So with that in mind, and in the words of yet another excellent movie... To all you fellas out there-

"Take me for what I am,

Who I was meant to be.

And if you give a damn, 

Take me baby, or leave me..."

Switching gears, this is my last post for the month. February has definitely been memorable... From the adult toy party to the strip club, online dating to being propositioned to be part of a threesome, (yes, that really happened and no, I didn't do it), I am almost sad to see February go. I almost feel like everything else is going to pale in comparison. March's theme, though not as exciting, is going to be really challenging for me. It might even be my most difficult month out of the whole year. I am going to be tackling mindfulness and patience. I can't tell you how many times in a day I zone out and get lost in my own little world. I also have this nasty habit of wanting to manhandle life and then getting frustrated when it doesn't turn out the way I want it to. So next month I am going to attempt to let go of control and let stuff just roll off my back.

Yeah, that could be interesting. Stay tuned my friends...

Strip Tease

A few weeks ago I had the most epic conversation with my friend John via text...

Me- So this is the random conversation in my head while I'm making curry tonight... If I was a stripper I wouldn't go by "Ginger" or "Cinnamon" I would totally be "Cumin"... LOL!

...wow...Win...but wow.

Haha yeah. That's the sort of shit that I think about when I am alone.

...you do see the pun in the name right? That was intentional?

Ummm yeah, the pun is why it's funny give me a little credit.

I figured, I was just making sure. Because if you had picked a spice at random and it just HAPPENED to be that I may have passed out from laughter lol.

Nope, there was irony there.

What was even more ironic was that less than a month after having this conversation I would be making my very first trip to a strip club.

When I first started planning my adventure year and decided to make February "sexuality" month, everyone started chiming in with ideas. My friend Amber jokingly suggested that I go see the Chippendale dancers and I thought to myself, "Oh yeah! The strip club! That could be interesting...incredibly awkward, but interesting... After all, this year is about pushing myself and being open to new experiences. It could be fun, right?" So last Friday night, (I feel like this is an intro to a bad Katy Perry song...), as sort of an "Alternative Valentine's Day Extravaganza,"a group of friends and I went out and popped my strip club cherry.

I was right, it was awkward. REALLY AWKWARD.

I don't think I have blushed that much since the sixth grade when they sat all of the girls down and gave us the talk about menstrual cycles. (I believe the book they handed out was called "Growing Up and Liking It!" I don't know about you, but I always thought that title was a little disturbing and ominous...)

To my friends who had been to a strip club before, me being embarrassed was quality entertainment in and of itself. Who needs dancing naked women when your friend is making a complete ass out of herself?! (I'll give them credit though, they were very supportive and did their best to help me relax even as they teased me mercilessly...) As for a couple of my other friends who were also strip club virgins, I was in good company as far as being nervous went. I think they spent the majority of the night analyzing costume choices and the lighting effects haha.

As the evening wore on, and I grew less uncomfortable, I was told it was time move stage side if I wanted the full experience. Prior to this we had been sitting in the back of the room, so I gathered my singles and my courage and went into the belly of the beast- front row seats where boobies and booty where flying free.

This is where I got a real education. My strip club savvy friends explained that when a stripper "pays attention"  to you, you stick a dollar in their g-string. "Pay attention" to you? Okay, like what are they going to do? Say "Top of the morning to ya!" and dance a jig? Sadly, I think I would have found that more entertaining. NO. Instead they shove their triple D breasts in your face and make you motorboat them whether you want to or not.

I must have had a deer in the headlights look, or been giving off some pretty strong scared little bunny pheromones that they picked up with their super stripper senses, because for the most part they left me alone. That is unless my friend Mike, who felt he needed to be my strip club concierge, would sick them on me with a malicious grin. That resulted in my ear lobe being molested by a Russian in a body sock, and an orange oompa loompa Malibu Barbie giving me this weird butt dance with her glute muscles. (I almost didn't want to fork over a dollar for that one, it was disturbing...) We had been sitting front row for awhile when I was told to "pick my stripper." I  was informed I wasn't allowed to leave the place without getting a lap dance first, courtesy of my friends.

What did I say when I took my vows back in October? Oh yeah- "Go big, or go home." Fuck me. I didn't think I would be eating my own words... So I picked the most non-threatening stripper I could find, which let me tell ya, wasn't easy.

She was actually very pretty, about my age, maybe a little younger, with long red hair and a Monroe piercing. Mike being the excellent wing man that he was tracked her down and propositioned her for me. She, of course, agreed. So Ember, (I am assuming that was her stage name, hence the red hair and red costume), grabbed my hand and lead me back to the hall of lap dance rooms and sat me down in a booth. At this point I am so freaked out about the idea of a strange person gyrating their mostly naked body on me, that I would have gladly traded places with a root canal patient. (Become one with the furniture, become one with the furniture...) Of course by then I was past the point of no return, so I did what I always do when I am nervous- I word vomited all over the poor stripper and this was the resulting conversation...

*Some information has been changed to protect Ember's identity...

"So this is your first time at a strip club? Are you just turning 21?"

No, I am actually 25.

"So strip clubs probably scare you shitless then, huh?"

Uh, yeah pretty much.

"But this is the best place on earth!" Pause as she shakes her ass a little closer to my face than I am comfortable with, and I am bracing myself against the back of the booth trying to avoid her g-string... "So what do you do for a living?"

I'm a social worker.

"Oh, boy..."

Yeah I know, I am not judging though I promise.

"So what do you do as a social worker?"

I work with elementary school kids in name of school district.

"Oh! I went to Pickerington High School!"

So you probably get asked this a lot, but why did you start dancing?

"Well, I am trying to work my way through school."

What are you going to school for?

"Design."

Oh, that's cool.

"Yeah, I sorta screwed up my life, and I know this isn't the best way to fix it, but I am trying to get back on track."

Well good for you! That's awesome! I have to say though, I wish I was a fraction as comfortable with my body as you are with yours.

"What are you talking about?! You're skinny as shit!" Pause as she wiggles her nipple pasties in my face... "I was down to about ninety pounds when I was still doing drugs, but I have been clean for awhile."

That's great! I am really glad you are healthy now!

As she was putting her shoes back on... "I'm so glad you were a girl, I am getting really tired of giving lap dances to men with erections tonight..."

Thanks?

"Well I hope it was good for your first time."

(What exactly was I supposed to say to that? So I said-) Yeah, you did a really good job, thanks a lot.

Dazed and confused, coming out of the backroom felt like a walk of shame. As I slunk back to my cheering friends, I was blushing so hard I wouldn't have been surprised if someone told me was I was purple. Shortly after they took pity on me and took me home.

In the end, however, I can say I came away with several things from the experience...

1) I learned that despite my facade of being "open and sexually accepting" I am much more of a prude than I care to admit. Although to be fair, seeing mostly naked people didn't bother me as much as those mostly naked people touching me did. However, I have a feeling that had more to do with my issue of not wanting strangers in general to touch me, than the fact that they were strippers.

2) (Weird as it might sound considering I was at a strip club of all places...) I really believe my idea of beauty was challenged and expanded. There were girls of all shapes and sizes- tall, short, thick, thin, black, white, blonde, brunette, small breasts, large breasts, completely unnatural breasts... but every single woman moved gracefully and with such confidence. Hell, I can't even do that half the time with my clothes on, so in a way I guess I sort of admired them for it.

3) Some of the girls could SERIOUSLY work a pole, holy shit. These were the girls I wouldn't want to tangle with on the street, because anyone who can hang upside down ten feet off the ground with nothing but their legs could probably crush my skull like a watermelon between their thighs... Not to mention they made it look so stinkin sexy at the same time. It put my feeble attempts at Carmen Electra's strip tease workouts back in college to shame.

All in all, I can now officially say I have been to a strip club and survived. (Okay, I might even admit that it really wasn't bad at all and I actually had a lot of fun...) Despite one of my particularly naughty friends suggesting in a facetious way that I should come back for "amateur night," I doubt Cumin will be making an appearance at a strip club any time soon, and to be perfectly honest, that's fine with me. I am okay with being who I am, a "skinny as shit," (high praise coming from a stripper), word vomiting social worker, who blushes easily, and is trying to learn to loosen up a bit sexually. Hats off to you ladies! You definitely helped me go a long way in just one night on that particular stand point...

It's Raining Men!

Hallelujah? I am still undecided on the topic, but I'm getting ahead of myself...

It all started this weekend when I had to meet my soon to be ex-husband to do 2012 taxes (yay tax season!) I was really anxious because I had absolutely no idea how it would go. It was the first time I had seen him in the three months since I moved out. After the initial awkwardness had passed, we feel into our old familiar banter and ended up spending the afternoon together catching up. This was actually very cathartic and healing. I think it helped clear the air and allowed us to take our first baby steps towards being friends after the divorce. I'm glad because, despite the fact that I think we made terrible spouses, I really missed him and his ridiculous sense of humor. Neither of us regret our decision, and even after everything that has happened he's still one of the few people in this world who knows almost everything about me. I hope we remain close because we did, and really do still care about each other. Many of you might be thinking, "Okay this is weird, two people who are getting divorced are actually nice to to each other? That's not how it's supposed to work!"

You're right, we are probably the exception rather than the rule when it comes to divorces, and for that I feel very blessed. Besides, for those of you who actually know me, when have I ever done anything the "normal" way? You think hanging out with your ex is weird? What if I told you that not only did we spend time together without wanting to strangle each other, but we traded dating tips? Then you'd probably think we were bat shit crazy...

But it's true. We joked for at least a good hour about our feeble attempts at dating, the good, the bad, and the ugly. It was during the course of this discussion he told me one of the kindest and most sincere things anyone has ever said to me...

"Someday we will both find our soul-mates."

I know, I want us both to be happy.

"Just do me one favor..." 

What's that?

"Don't settle. Don't settle for anything less than the best because you deserve it."

I cry every time I think of that conversation. This is the man I married years ago, this is the man, excruciatingly difficult as it is, that I am giving up. Despite our incompatibility,  he's a sweet and wonderful man and I love him dearly (and he's single ladies!! *wink*wink).

Anyway, to make a long back story short, he was the one who suggested trying out OkCupid.com, a free online dating website. Oh boy...

Now, I have always said I would never date men I met online. I have nothing against it per say  it just never really felt my "style". But, I figured what the hell, I'll check it out anyway, not like I have anything better to do. So Saturday night I started working on a profile. Before I was even finished filling the damn thing out I already had three guys leaving me messages. Within twelve hours I had seventeen more messages waiting for me in my inbox. All of them telling me I'm "beautiful," "funny," or "seemed really sweet." At first I felt like Scarlet O'Hara and the belle of the ball! All these guys were talking about little ole me! You can't help but feel like you are oozing sexuality when so many men are fighting for your attention. Then I started to realize, "Shit, sifting through all these emails is going to be extremely tedious and annoying..." And believe me I have had some real winners...

My very first email was from a guy named *Dave (names have been changed to protect the pervy...), and it consisted of-

"Hi, my name is Dave, 44. If you secretly like old guys you should message me..."

Yeeeaaahhhh.... Not the best pick up line my friend. Although it's better than the message I got from some caveman whose name I can't even remember because I deleted it so fast, which in its entirety read-

"Hmmmm...."

Hmmm, what? You find me interesting? Pretty? Repulsive? Hmmm, you're a moron and wasting my time? My vote is for the last one.

The other thing that kills me are the guys who message me and clearly have not read my profile, (which is a shame because it's a beautifully written, somewhat sarcastic masterpiece in the world of on-line dating profiles). For example I had an Indian vegetarian contact me when I clearly listed "bacon" as one of my six things I couldn't live without. In fact, if he bothered to read my profile at all he would have noticed this little gem under "Favorite Foods"...

If it includes bacon, I will eat it. If you can wrap it in bacon, I will eat it. Not to go on a tangent or anything, but I firmly believe that bacon is a gift from the gods and should not be squandered. If I could win a lifetime supply of bacon I would die a happy woman... probably of congestive heart failure, but happy none the less.

So please, please, explain to me in what alternate universe would a vegetarian and myself be able to coexist peacefully when pork products are being consumed in large amounts on a weekly, sometimes daily basis at my house? Read My Damn Profile!

Oh, and ninety percent of the guys who apparently do read my profile are creepy mouth breathers who get all hot and bothered by my Game of Thrones references, or the comment under "Favorite Movies" which states- I'm a huge fan of StarWars. If you don't know who Admiral Ackbar is then I'm sorry but, "This is not the girl you are looking for..." (I personally thought this was witty and amusing. Aforementioned mouth breathers apparently find it a good excuse to picture me with Princess Leia buns and masturbate in front of their computers... Eww.)

Unfortunately for me in this particular instance, that is who I am- a bacon loving, card carrying sci-fi fanatic, who can nerd rage with the best of them as to why Timothy Zahn's "The Hand of Thrawn" series should be the next StarWars trilogy. (Did you hear that Disney?!) I am not going to misrepresent myself online to make me more attractive to the kinds of people who aren't still virgins at age thirty-five.

I realize at this point I probably sound really superficial and that's one thing I am discovering about online dating, is you really have no other choice. Unless I want to wade through a dozen or more emails a day and respond to each one, I have weed out the "undesirables." To do so means to literally judge them based on their (usually crappy) profile photo and the scant amount of information they provide. This makes me feel horribly guilty because I am sure some of these men are truly lovely people and would much better represent themselves if they were able to string together more than a couple of sentences under their personal info.

This is why I am "undecided" as to whether I am glad to be getting all this attention, because it forces me to be judgmental of people I barely know and I hate that. Do I think I am going to find my soul mate online? Probably not. More likely I am going to find a bunch of guys who look at my photos and just want to get into my pants. However, there is at least one or two promising prospects and we will have to see how they pan out. For now, however, grab you umbrellas and flip on your windshield wipers, it's raining men my friends-AMEN!

Good, Good, Good, Good Vibrations...

Monday, January 28, 2013 was a tragic day. One that will live on in infamy for as long as I shall live. That was the day that I opened the bathroom door after my typical morning shower, only to discover my dogs had turned B.O.B. (my battery operated boyfriend), into their new favorite chew toy. I silently mourned our parting as I cursed my naughty puppies, and gently laid BOB to rest in the trash can. He was a good friend, and will be sorely missed.

Melodramatics aside, this event was seriously depressing. When you are a fabulously single lady, there are certain things in life that are an absolute necessity... a good vibrator is one of them. After pouring out my woes to her via text, my friend Amber tried to console me with the following-

"...Could just be a new texture...lol."

"Yeeaahh... not really a fan of 'cheese grater'."

When informed that my dog ate my mechanical playmate, my friend Jordan's response was not quite as helpful-

"Oh my god! Is he ok?! Does he vibrate?!"

For those of you who are wondering, yes, the dogs are fine... I wish I could say the same about my libido.

The only good thing about the whole situation was the timing, for it just so happened that the Saturday after BOB's demise was my kick off for February, my "Superbowl" so to speak of sexuality month- a PureRomance ladies night. I guess if you want to look at it from a more positive perspective, (which I am trying really hard to practice more often), maybe this was the Universe's way of saying "Girlfriend, you need an upgrade!"

This whole adventure year is about trying new things and pushing the boundaries of my comfort zone, and one thing I have never had the pleasure of doing is attend an adult toy party. I have been invited to several, but for whatever reason was never able to go, so I decided to throw my own sexy soiree.

I have to say ladies- if you've never gone to a party like this then you need to add it to your "to-do" list asap. It makes for a fantastic evening. (Sorry gentlemen, no boys allowed due to solicitation laws. I know, I know, this is sexist and grossly unfair...here's a tissue, get over it.) I had a great turnout, 12 women including myself, yummy food, alcoholic beverages for those who were able to partake, good conversation, and a gun case full of sex toys! No seriously, she carried the vibrators in a gun case. If you don't believe me, here is photographic evidence...

Imagine getting pulled over with this bad boy in your backseat!

Maiya, our consultant, was awesome. She made it so funny and entertaining; I actually learned a lot. Like the fact that you can apparently have a "nipple orgasm." Who knew?! As the evening wore down and everything was said and done, between money I saved up for the occasion, and the money I earned from the party's sales for being the hostess, I was able to get almost $200 in new goodies! (Needless to say I was able to get several replacements for dearly departed BOB...)

After all the other guests left, Amber and I met up with some guy friends to go dancing. As a mom with a young child, Amber doesn't get many free evenings, so we decided to make the most of it, and made our way downtown to Skully's where we could shake our groove thing. I haven't been dancing in a long time, in fact, I think the last time I went dancing was for a Bachelorette party in 2009. Now, I recognize that means I haven't been to a club in almost four years, but I didn't think the rules of etiquette had changed THAT much. So either things have changed, or the men at Skully's are absolute cretins, I'm not sure which.

For example, since when has it ever been okay for a strange man to sneak up behind a woman, grab her uterus and grind their junk all up in her business? When did we go from, "Hi, can I buy you a drink?" to silent, surprise, derriere molestations? I know some women like this, I am not judging I promise, but one of the things I recognized I needed to do from the outset of this project, and have been trying very hard to accomplish, is to love and respect myself, mind, body, and soul. With that being said, I personally do not appreciate people violating my personal space without my explicit permission. If you are a total stranger, don't fucking touch me unless you want me to break you in half like a twig. I had to wrest a couple of morons off my backside at several points throughout the night, and came very close to elbowing one in the face, who felt it was necessary to grab my nether-regions from behind. (Thanks to Kung Fu I could have punched him eight different ways!) Fortunately for him, peeling his fingers off and giving a firm "No thanks," was all that was needed. However, I was subjected for at least another five minutes to comments such as, "Damn gurl! Shake that thang...Mmmhmm! Yeah, that's the stuff..." as Mr. Gropey Hands watched me from the bar several feet away. Nothing like sexual harassment to make you feel like a real lady. It seriously reminded me of the Dane Cook comedy skit about guys at the club (if you've never heard it before check it out here).

I left the club feeling slightly dejected. Where has chivalry gone? My standards might be pretty high, but I don't think it's unrealistic to expect a man to treat you with respect as a human being, rather than a piece of meat that is simply there for his amusement. How would they like it if someone treated their mothers, sisters, or daughters that way?

Maybe someday I will meet a man who, when he looks at me, doesn't just see a pretty face or "assets," but sees me, down to my soul and truly understands me from the inside out. Someone who is respectful and kind, loving, empathetic, sexy and supportive. Someone who I will actually want plastered to my side. Someone where personal boundaries stop being so much of an issue, and "my space" becomes "ours." Maybe someday he will make an appearance. I hope he does, with every fiber of my being, I truly hope he does...

But on the bright side, at least for the interim I have a BOB replacement. T.O.M (my triple orgasm machine, haha) will keep me busy until Mr. Right does decide to waltz into my life and into my waiting arms...

Really crappy picture of Amber and me at the club. It's just bad lighting, I promise you we weren't in the red light district!

Comparative Religion 101

During the second semester of my Freshman year of college, I had to take a religion class. Being a student at a liberal arts college this was mandatory. Quite frankly, I had been absolutely dreading it. After being ostracized through most of high school about my beliefs (or lack there of), I had this preconceived notion that college would be the same way. I was pleasantly surprised to find out I was wrong.

I think what saved the day for me was I had the privilege to be in a Dr. Bussie class, and any one who went to Capital knows, either through personal experience or by reputation, that Dr. Bussie is an amazing teacher. She created a non-judgmental educational atmosphere where I felt safe to share my beliefs without the fear of being made an outcast. I went on to take several of her other classes, for the simple fact that I enjoyed them so much.

One of my favorite memories from undergrad came from Dr. Bussie's Intro to World Religions. As an entire class, we took a trip to OSU's campus to celebrate the breaking of the fast/feast of Ramadan. We got to sit down and talk with practicing Muslims about their beliefs and customs. I remember watching them go through their evening prayers thinking it sounded so beautiful, even if I couldn't understand what they were saying. (This is also where I discovered a love for dates, which are the traditional food to break the fast with.) This was the first really multicultural experience I had ever had and it has stuck with me after all these years. I had this memory in mind when I decided to make January spirituality month. I wanted to have the opportunity to experience other cultural and spiritual beliefs outside of my own, and see how they compared and differed from one another. I didn't get to do everything I wanted to this month, some of it due to my own poor planning, and some of it was out of my hands, but I did get quite a lot of accomplished so here is my spirituality month in summary...

St. Joseph's Cathedral (Catholic Church)
When planning out my destinations for the month, I chose St. Joseph's because I have seen pictures of cathedrals, but never actually been in one before. Architecturally, it didn't disappoint. The frescoes and stained glass were gorgeous, as were the vaulted ceilings and the gilded ornaments adorning the walls.

However, this little gem early on in the service reminded why I never enjoyed going to church with Catholic friends growing up...

(Excerpt from the mass bulletin...)
"I confess to almighty God and to you my brothers and sisters, that I have greatly sinned, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done and in what I have failed to do. (And, Striking their breast, they say:) Through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault, therefore I ask blessed Mary ever-Virgin, all the Angels and Saints, and you, my brothers and sisters, to pray for me to the Lord our God."

Yeah... I already have enough guilt on my own without my religion dishing out another heaping spoonful.

The Verdict: I loved the echoing organ music and breath-taking environment, but probably would have enjoyed it more if I could have prayed alone in the empty cathedral rather than attending a service.

The Magical Druid Grand Opening

Immediately following my trip to the Cathedral, I went to the grand opening of a new spiritual resource center started by some pagan friends of mine. I found it amusing because the pamphlet from the Cathedral talked about the "Wise men journeying out of the pagan lands," so the joke that night was I made the journey out of the "Christian lands into pagan territory" (hahaha witty pagans). 

Seriously though, I am really proud of my friends and Three Cranes Grove, they are so active in educating the public and making paganism accessible in central Ohio. Mike and Seamus have been working for months to make their online shop a physical reality. The location is awesome, they have a wide range of products available, and they even feature works by local artists and craftsmen. Click here to visit their site!

The Verdict: No contest, I love my pagan friends and they have always accepted me unconditionally without question. Spending time with them is like coming home to family, even if I don't believe some of the same things they do anymore.

Universal Unitarian Church
The weekend I went to the UUCE, I actually went early in the morning because they were supposed to be doing meditation practice... apparently I should have called ahead, because when I got there the place was empty save one of the guys who helps with maintenance around the place. So I ended up sitting and talking with him for awhile. He was an interesting fellow- he is a self proclaimed "atheist" who sings in a Lutheran choir. Eventually people did show up for the "service" (members take turns presenting topics, as a result lectures can be a bit eclectic). That week they focused on a 2012 review and what members would like to accomplish in their lives for 2013, which was an interesting concept, but we didn't really have a lot of time to talk about it in detail.

The Verdict: Interesting and friendly group of people, they wanted to know more about my adventure year and possibly have me do a lecture about it when I am all done. I would like to go back someday. They also sent me a lovely hand-written card thanking me for coming, which I thought was amazingly sweet.

Tao Te Ching
There really aren't any "Taoist temples" in Columbus, (I think it gets lumped in a lot with Buddhism), but I did read the Tao Te Ching, which Taoism is based on. Written by Lao Tzu and comprised of 81 verses, it's actually quite beautiful and chock full of practical wisdom. One of my favorites...

"The best way to live is to be like water

For water benefits all things and goes against none of them.

It provides for all people and even cleanses the places a man is loath to go.

In this way it is just like Tao."

Verse 8

The Verdict: Breathtaking. I would like to find a copy of this translation (by Jonathan Star) for myself.

Religulous (Movie)

Ah, Religulous, how very entertaining you are. Atheist comic- Bill Maher goes to town interviewing various religious groups and institutions in this particular documentary. Needless to say hilarity ensues. Some of my favorite moments include- him getting thrown out of the Vatican, getting thrown off the Mormon church property in Salt Lake, talking to a "reformed homosexual," and chatting up a fake Jesus at a "biblical" Disneyland before getting thrown out of there too. (Fake Jesus actually said one of the more interesting things of the movie, he likened the Trinity to the phases of water- solid, liquid and vapor. Wish they would have explained it that way in confirmation, would have made a hell of a lot more sense!)

The Verdict: Absolutely nutty, but it makes you question your own beliefs and assumptions, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Homechurch (Christian Non-denominational)

I went with my friend John to his "church," which is run out of the various member's houses (hence the name). It's an interesting concept and made for a more intimate experience. It reminded me a lot of the bible studies I used to go to in high school, rather than a traditional church "service." The leader made the lesson very down to earth and relevant to today's world, which I thought was very helpful.

The Verdict: Despite the Bible not being my cup of tea, this was definitely the most interesting group of people I met this month. Everyone was extremely friendly and welcoming, and I enjoyed talking to people of many different backgrounds, which was pretty cool.

The KTC (Buddhist Meditation Center)
I did this one pretty late in the month and now I wish I had done it first, because it was amazing! I went for the introduction to meditation class, where the instructor- Ed, was very informative and entertaining. I learned how to hold my body so it wouldn't hurt while meditating, as well as strategies to tame my "monkey mind." Later on during the day, Lama Kathy did a teaching on suffering and patience. I was very happily surprised to discover I couldn't find one thing she talked about that I disagreed with.

The Vedict: I'd like to order whatever they're having! Everyone was really friendly and so freaken peaceful and calm...Must be all the meditation. I will definitely be back, I think there is a lot I can learn from this place.

Queer Yoga (Seriously, that was what it was called...)
Last, but not least, I was supposed to do Yoga at the Vedic Temple, but due to poor planning (I didn't realize it was in Delaware as opposed to Columbus), I ended up not being able to go. As a substitute, my friend Jordan suggested I do Yoga with him... at a gay yoga studio. If you can't do yoga with the Hindu's, homosexuals are the next best thing right? That's what I thought.

Honestly though, the yoga class itself wasn't as eventful as simply trying to purchase my yoga mat yesterday at Meijer's was. Makesh's eyes lit up, (Makesh being the little old Indian man who was bagging groceries), when he saw my mat and proceeded to hug it to his chest as he enthusiastically spent the next 5 to 10 minutes talking at length about the virtues of yoga, and how if I really wanted to learn yoga I needed a Hindu teacher. I smiled and nodded politely as he continued to clutch my yoga mat in a death grip, and I was seriously hoping that I wouldn't have to wrestle this little old man with no teeth to get my mat back, when luck would have it he got distracted by another customer and dropped my mat to verbally molest them instead. (Apparently Makesh, sweet, friendly, little old man that his was, has the attention span of a squirrel... this worked to my advantage and I got the hell out of Dodge before he could snatch up my mat again.)

The Verdict: The yoga class was amazing. Everyone was really friendly and welcoming, and the instructor was very knowledgeable. I have done yoga DVDs before, but the experience of an instructor giving personal feedback was really cool. My body felt fantastic afterwards and, while it wasn't what I would necessarily call "spiritual," I was able to tune into, and listen to my body and what it needed to say during practice. I would definitely go again, if nothing more than for the physical benefits.

I think the lesson learned this month can be summed up in the simple sentence, "Many paths lead to the same destination." In all of my various experiences it seemed the same universal truths came up again and again... love, kindness, and compassion, for others and ourselves. If more people would realize that their religion isn't that much different than their neighbor's then maybe we could finally stop killing each other over "who's right and who's wrong." Maybe someday...

But, as you all are well aware I am sure, today is the last day of January so tomorrow starts a new month and a new focus, and let me tell you, it's going to be crazy. In honor of Valentine's Day, which occurs during the month of February, I am dedicating the next 28 days to "sexuality." I have been simultaneously looking forward to, and dreading this month since I started this project. I've been looking forward to it because I think it's going to be awesomely fun with all the stuff I have in store, and dreading it because I think it's going to be the most awkward month to write about. For my family's sake (and for my own privacy) I will do my best to try and keep things PG 13, but I make no promises. Stay tuned for my antics this month, I am confident they will be quite entertaining ;)